The Bully and the Bystander

The week of November 14-20 was National Bullying Awareness week. The idea behind the week is to focus on what "we" rather than "I" can do about bullying. I spent the Monday of this week working with a group of teenagers from a local Secondary School who wanted to be the "we." This self-directed group wanted to help curb bullying in their school, and they believed that one approach was to work with grade 6, 7, and 8 students from the schools that feed into their school. This group of young leaders were working on putting together an experiential presentation that they could present to the middle school students that focused on identifying the true causes of bullying and how they have the power to stop it.

We spent the day participating in a series of activities that explored key aspects of bullying such as power and status in groups and the idea that "the more I know about you, the less likely I am to hurt you, and the more likely I am to help you." It was after one activity where people had to pick a bully and a bystander and physically keep their bystander between themselves and the bully, when we had a great discussion about how if we don't identify the behaviour and action of bullying, and if we aren't willing to have the difficult discussions about it, then it is really hard to stop it.

It's funny how sometimes as a facilitator you often learn more things from your participants than they do from you. Working with this group of teenagers helped me to realize a few things about bullying awareness:

1.  Putting up "No Bully Zone" type signs might not work as an approach to stop bullying. To stop it, students need to truly understand what it is and feel comfortable identifying and doing something about it. Perhaps there is a different type of sign that could be posted that has the positive opposite to no bullying, or perhaps no sign at all, just a supportive community school culture.

2. Some students and adults might not truly understand the causes of bullying and what they can do about it. Understanding the imbalance of power and how to re-balance it is key.

3. Students might be more equipped to help other students understand bullying and how to deal with it.

The group of student leaders from Robert Bateman Secondary School have started their experiential presentations focusing on grade 6 students first. They are delivering their message they created and using impactful learning activities. While we worked with them to help them find their message and activities, and they do have support from the school, this group is completely self-directed. They are the "WE."